Get a Tight Grip On Your Butt and Pull Your Head Out.

Mad 3 Comments »

To feel that you or any human has any real effect on the grand scheme is the quintessence of hubris.

Dinosaurs lived on this planet for hundreds of millions of years before us and in a short stroke, the universe erased their existence. Mankind’s presence has been for less than an eye blink. In the face of that extraordinary display of power who the hell are we to lay claim to any sway of any kind?

We all should wake each morning and, on bended knee, give thanks for our very being because the odds are a billion to one against every one of us.

What is the point of this post? This: Shut the hell up you useless tree hugging liberals. Get off your ideological soapboxes and start living in the real world.

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I Hate Old School Country Music

Mad, Pissed No Comments »

CowboysThere’s a Time-Life infomercial shilling the “Greatest Country Music Ever Recorded” playing on TV right now and it disgusts me.

Hate doesn’t even plumb the depths of my revulsion for the slutty, putrid wallowing in the pig slop of everything repulsive about the most animalistic groveling nature of human kind that defines old school country music.

Not the new stuff. Since the late eighties, early nineties country music crossed over and no longer resembles its disgusting past.

But the past! Oh God how I hated it.

My father was cutting edge cool when I was a small boy in the late 50’s – early 60’s. We had a full blown mahogany piece of furniture that was a stereo record player before most others had anything like it. He played Big Band, Swing, Jazz, Folk and show tunes. I loved every bit of it (well, everything but the show tunes). If I and my brothers weren’t dancing around the room to the music, I would sit in front of the satellite speaker and feel the full force of sound take me away.

Then in the early 60’s we moved south into the Heart of Dixie, deep into the hell hole of ignorance and repression and my life turned to shit. Everyone spoke a foreign language. I was surrounded by trash.

My father went native and there was no stopping the relentless torture I was subject to through our car’s speaker. Every trip we took became an endlessly streaming hell of whining and crying pounding into my skull making me want to just rip out of my skin, jump from the car and dash headlong into oncoming traffic just to end the unholy nightmare!

Waylon Jennings, Porter Wagoner, Boxcar Willy, and the rest of you whiny bastards, I celebrate your passing.

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Walking on Broken Glass

Mad, Pissed No Comments »

Broken Champagne Glass

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Well, Verizon FiOS was an interesting experiment. While I was promised by the sales people at Verizon that they could duplicate what I have with Brighthouse, the reality proved to be much different.

It seems Verizon has a screwball notion that the only way they can offer a static IP (something I need for the website and mail server) to its customers is through a business account. They do not offer anything like Brighthouse’s Virtual Office (a home office solution), and their business accounts cannot offer FiOS TV! After talking with numerous folks at Verizon and hearing no legitimate technical explanation I can only assume this stems from a self-inflicted policy.

So it’s back to Brighthouse. I did get to experience FiOS TV for less than a week, though. The picture quality was stunning. I think it’s the way to go in the future if Verizon can get the kinks out of their services.

I dropped Vonage in the process and kept telephone service through Verizon so at least we’ll be “talking on glass.”

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Phun With Phones

Fun, Mad No Comments »

Candlestick TelephoneI have my computer tied to the phone line and have it screen calls for me. Depending on who may be calling, it will let the call pass through, it might just immediately hang up, or it could deliver a message about how we do not respond to telemarketers.

Yeah, we still get calls even after placing ourselves on the Do Not Call list – the energy to track the bastards down is more effort than I’m willing to spend, especially since I’ve got my computer to give them an earful for me.

The program I run on my computer is PhoneTrayFree. It is for your phone, it resides in your system tray (if you use Windows – otherwise you’re shit out of luck) and you need a modem card.

I found an excellent message to deliver to persistent assholes appropriately called “Dial An Asshole”. It goes like this in a professional and authoritative male voice:

“Thank you for calling Dial-An-Asshole. All of our assholes are currently assisting other assholes. To receive a free copy of our quarterly newsletter ‘The Anal Retentive’ please leave your name and number at the beep and the first available asshole will return your call promptly. Have a Shitty day.”

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Of course they never get a beep to leave a message. If this message sounds intriguing and you would like a copy, email me and I’ll send it to you. On the other hand, if this is copyrighted and needs to be so attributed, let me know that also.

I knew it was a hit not long after my sister-in-law left our number as a contact with her credit union. She fell behind in her payments and they started calling us. I let them know her number and asked them to stop calling me. When they didn’t, they got the “Dial-An-Asshole” treatment.

The first time they got the message we received five more calls in quick succession from the same number. I immediately knew what had happened. The first caller got such a kick out of it he/she passed it on to his/her mates saying “You’ve got to hear this!”

Technology can be so much fun when it works for the right reasons.

Oh – and F*ck you, asshole callers. My phone is not your playground, it is my playground and I’ll screw with you any way I want.

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Historic Wings

Mad, Sad No Comments »

Historic Wings December Calendar 2007I was pissed. I was God Damned pissed. In the midst of the most needed patriotic support this nation ever aspired to, here is a site dedicated to the sacrifices of pilots past and present and it has mostly gone ignored.

I watched in dismay as this site lay fallow for many years. It was a favorite of mine if for nothing else than the excellent monthly wallpapers they freely offered, but more so for the personal stories related by those who really lived it.

I just now revisited the site and have discovered a revitalization. YES!

If you are any kind of an aviation buff, if you were ever a pilot in any American war, if you are a patriot of any kind, please visit and support this site.

Visit it here and now!

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